So, I have been struggling with a lot recently. It's so strange that I am discovering all this during Lent - no, not strange, God. I am observing the 40 days of Lent for the first time in a long time. I am truly searching for significance, for my purpose. I've felt distant - pretty much from everything for a while now. I've been thinking that it's ok for me to be in a rut, to be lacking in passion for anything because this is my "waiting" time. I am constantly looking at my life thinking "when Ryan's finished with school..." "when we start our family..." "when the test results say...." I find myself saying these things about everything. Work, home, relationships, family. But, God is showing me that this is NOT a waiting time! This is a time of preparation!! I have been worrying that I somehow missed a turn, that maybe I'm not supposed to be here right now. Am I like this because I have been running from God's big life...