Love is what makes a family...

In only 8 days, Ryan and I will be on our way to "jolly old England" - ha! I'm SOOOOOO excited!!! Most people have a lot of pictures of them with their siblings... I have exactly 3 with all 7 of my siblings. The oldest I am in any of these is 12. I am now 26. Yes, it has been 14 years and 4 weddings since we were all in the same place at the same time. The only request my mom had for their 50th wedding anniversary? All 8 of her children in the same place at the same time. So, June 5th, all 8 of us - with spouses and kids in tow - will be in the same place at the same time. It will be epic. 41 people all direct descendants of two amazing people. Congrats mum and dad in making it through 8 kids, 8 weddings, 22 grandkids and 1 grandkid wedding!

I think the two were created to go together. What gets me up on a Friday morning, is promising myself that because it's Friday - and I'm still alive - I will go to Starbucks! The Friday morning Starbucks is special, it's not simply a dark brew or americano with cream (the mid-week pick-me-up drinks) no, the Friday morning Starbucks is something far more special. Sometimes a seasonal pick, but at the beginning of May, the choice is clear. Yes, this morning, nothing but a white chocolate mocha will suffice... aah, sheer perfection. Yes, it has half my daily calories and is usually gone within 15 minutes, but it is just amazing. How I love the peppy greeting as I pull up to the drive-thru "would you like to try a hand-crafted extra coffee frappucino this morning?" "no thank you" I reply, I know why I'm there and here's the best part of this glorious Friday morning's Starbucks trip - "I got a survey last week and have the code for a free tal...

I wear a ring on my right hand ring finger that has those words printed on the side. It's a friendship ring. My best friend and I got them and, honestly, I cherish that $10 ring almost as much as I do my engagement ring. I clean them both at the same time, I take them both off before putting lotion on my hands, washing dishes or gardening. Friendship is one of the most important things in life. Marriage, to me, is first and foremost a friendship. I believe that friendship is one of God's primary lines of communication with us. Having Christian friends that can help you in life is so important. Having a friend who is not only loving and caring but also honest and speaks truth into your life when you don't want to hear it, is invaluable. I am blessed as I look at my life - and my hands - and see that I have the two best friends imaginable. I cannot thank God enough for bringing me not only the husband I was created for, but a best friend who shares my soul... and cannot thank...

Have you ever noticed that when you are under a spiritual attack, it never seems to be in an area of "weakness"? You know the areas of your life that are a struggle and you are working on them, your guard is up. Then there are the areas that are pretty good, but you can usually see something coming and get prepared. Then there are the areas of life that you feel confident in - maybe this is just me, but I know there are areas of my life I feel like saying "alright God, no worries on this one, I got it!" Then, boom. Satan hits. It's a sneaky attack, maybe with a conversation or two. Maybe he gives you something you need in a way you shouldn't be getting it. Then, maybe a physical sickness or something to keep you away from where to need to be to get your faith and mind right. All of a sudden out of nowhere you find yourself slipping down a very slippery slope and teetering on the edge of falling off the cliff completely. Here is where I am so thankful today: ...

I am so thankful that it is finally WARM outside!! I love sunshine, flowers, kids playing outside, yes, even the Tennessee "tropical" storms... Every year for the last few, around this time, I get vivid flashbacks to 4 years ago, the butterflies driving down the street thinking of this guy I just met... everything is more exciting in the spring... I flashback to the thoughts "I think I could marry this one..." then I remember 3 years ago how the butterflies were building even more "I can't believe I'm getting married in a few weeks!" I still have those butterflies driving home... I still can't believe such a great guy picked me... I'm so glad that the weather can remind me of how blessed I am in so many ways - but especially to be married to the love of my life and to have such a wonderful man to come home to every night...

I'm a big advocate for family. I'm a huge advocate for marriage. I think with a lot of relationships these days, people just have no interest in really putting in the work. They realize that the relationship isn't going to be easy, so they quit. I'm not a quitter. I don't give up on much in life. Here's the deal with relationships though: they're a two way street. Let's say Ryan and I have an argument. I can explain my side of things, I can talk, yell, cry, whatever, but if he's not willing to communicate with me and work it out, we can't. This isn't about Ryan though. Over the last 3 years, we have worked really hard to talk about things - even the things we don't want to. The things that cause conflict. The things we deeply disagree about. By talking about these things, we don't necessarily change each other's minds, but we do understand where each other is coming from. We find a way to connect through our disagreements and, whe...

So, family. Here's what I think of with family - people who forgive you when you're stupid. People who know how to hurt your feelings most efficiently - and then how to make up for it equally as easy. Family to me aren't just people I am related to by blood (or by marriage!) they are people who understand me on a deeper level, people I am connected to in bigger ways. I am close to my blood-related traditional family, I've worked through some pretty big issues with several of them and feel like the bonds go deeper than just "I might need an organ transplant from you someday..." My older brothers were all married before I was old enough to know any difference, and their wives are as much family to me as they (and their kids) are. I remember my oldest sisters getting married - I liked their husbands so it was fine as far as I was concerned. When my closest (in location and age) brother got married, I was a little upset - I LOVE his wife, it wasn't that at all...

My heart is breaking over divorce this week. There are so many couples that seems so pefect on the outside that are falling apart inside. How many more of my friends am I going to see break up? Statistcs say a LOT - especially if Ryan and I are in the small percentage that don't!! It's devistating to me. I think that as married people we need to help our married friends fight for their marriages! I know since I've been married that there have been - and will be more - times that I have needed a comforting word that everything would work out, a different perspective about what's going on and most importantly a friend to pray with. I want to be that kind of friend. I know my marriage is worth fighting for. I know my husband does too. We are proactive about fighting for it before we ever feel like we need to. We have a non-negotiable date night and try to make time every day to talk to each other. We laugh together. We work on projects together and make plans for future va...

So, I have made some pretty big decisions in the last week or so... not that anything is set, but it's just a decision to make a move in a direction... confused yet? The question is, how much is what we make it / decide, and how much is God? I want to be in His will - I know I have freedom to make decisions, but I want to make the right decisions. Believing that he will close a door and open a window, how much should I pursue something? Should I just pray and sit back? or do I pray but actively pursue? So many questions... Why is life so complicated?