family...

So, family. Here's what I think of with family - people who forgive you when you're stupid. People who know how to hurt your feelings most efficiently - and then how to make up for it equally as easy. Family to me aren't just people I am related to by blood (or by marriage!) they are people who understand me on a deeper level, people I am connected to in bigger ways. I am close to my blood-related traditional family, I've worked through some pretty big issues with several of them and feel like the bonds go deeper than just "I might need an organ transplant from you someday..." My older brothers were all married before I was old enough to know any difference, and their wives are as much family to me as they (and their kids) are. I remember my oldest sisters getting married - I liked their husbands so it was fine as far as I was concerned. When my closest (in location and age) brother got married, I was a little upset - I LOVE his wife, it wasn't that at all - but it was a very hard transition for me. His wife and I became immediate friends when they were only dating and that friendship has only deepened over the years. The sister closest in age to me... there have been some strong issues surrounding her marriage, but I believe we are making drastic steps in working through it - our relationship as sisters (I think) has shown incredible strength through the willingness and ability to move on. Enough about that. Anyway, overall, family has proven to be very important to me. My brother has always been my emergency contact. However many times we piss each other off, hurt each other's feelings, etc, we get through it. I am honest, open and upfront about what I'm upset about and he does the same. This, I believe, is fundamental in a healthy relationship - especially a family relationship! I've always know I was a little more "abraisive" than most, that I don't have a great filter from my brain to my mouth and that my face shows clearly every emotion than passes though me, but I never questioned the need for honesty, and I guess, confrontation. So many people think of confrontation as a negative thing. I don't agree. Getting in someone's face and yelling at them, yes, that's negative, but I don't think that's confrontation. To me, confrontation is, excuse my language, cutting out the BS. "You hurt my feelings, here's why." This is how things work (for the most part) with my family - not only blood family, but friends I consider family and my sibling's spouses. At which point the other people either says "I had no idea! I'm so sorry" "Yeah, I thought that might have upset you, here's how it was from my side" or just "it shouldn't have and here's why" any way you go, it's generally accepted. It doesn't mean it's not going to happen again, and it doesn't mean you are going to get an apology, it does mean that you have been open and honest and there's no question that the other person knows how you feel. Is this not appropriate? I'm just not sure anymore.How do you deal with letting someone know you are hurt they can tell everyone but you when they are pissed off with you and their only response is "$hit happens, wipe it off." ?