Even though we still have a great time together, still make time for getaways and bike rides, there is still a sadness that comes with the comfort of being together that long. We went out on Saturday night to dinner and movie... as we were laughing loud in the movie theater it struck me that short of a couple very close girlfriends, there is no one else I could sit by and feel that comfortable cry-laughing next to. The same things that are awesome about being married for a while are the same things that make it sad... the comfort to cry-laugh means there's also the comfort to be in a gross bathrobe with no make-up eating ice-cream at 10pm on a Tuesday.
There can be a loss of passion and excitement. The butterflies. The "what's going to happen now?!" feeling of being with someone you don't know. As that fades, it's easy to get in a rut. For me, being in a rut is one of the most frustrating feelings I can have. I thrive on excitement and passion. I hate routine. Ryan, however, is the opposite. Often, it feels like the happier he is (having a daily routine) the unhappier I am. Where's the balance?
Well, I can't answer that. There are no easy answers. But I will say this, when we have fallen apart and moved into the "do your own thing" mode, we are both sad. Marriage is hard for different couples in different ways. It's difficult in different ways in different stages of life. I know it's only been 7 years, not long enough to speak to much, but it's been a rewarding 7 years.
I am full of faith that at our 50th wedding anniversary, we will fully see that the journey was worth it.
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