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finding acceptance.


I've been thinking a lot about the struggles of life recently. Seems like everyone I know is have a hard time with life. So much of me just doesn't believe that it should be that way. It seems like it shouldn't be such a challenge to everyone. Are we making it harder that it needs to be? How much of life's complications are our own doing? Is it really that life is hard to make us better people? Is it preparation for something or all just one big test? Or are we just making it all harder than it needs to be? 
I've heard so many times that I "take on too much" and try to do too much. I've questioned if that's what makes my life hard. I don't think it is. There's a strong train of thought in our day and age to let people do what makes them happy. To live and let live. Make the effort to understand our differences and love one another. However, that only goes so far. Ryan and I took a boundaries class when we hadn't been married for long. A large part of it was learning how to say "no" and how to be okay with people getting upset about it. Much of the time was spent on learning how to be okay with people setting boundaries and how to set them for ourselves even when we knew it would hurt people's feelings. 
Since that time I've been through phases where I've pulled out of volunteering a lot and spending lots of time doing things for others. Those have been some of the darkest times of my life. I didn't find it refreshing or renewing. I didn't love "taking time for myself." I only became depressed and focused on my own problems.  Now, This is not at all meant as a slight to those who enjoy and need alone time. It's not at all a criticism for those people who set appropriate boundaries and have an ability to say no.  This is nothing more than my personal ramblings and experience.  Yes, I like to over-commit. I hurt people's feelings because I don't have time for them. I have very few deep and meaningful relationships because most of the people in my life are the ones I am currently working with on projects and events. But, being busy and over-committed is the way I prefer my life. I am supportive of my friends who say no, but it seems like fewer and fewer are supportive of me when I say yes.  

When does this cause the biggest problem? When the person who's feelings are being hurt the most is the person I love the most. My husband. Who is a natural introvert who gains his energy through time alone or home with me. How do we find a balance? I will tell you this - the darkest days in life are the days that Ryan and I aren't a team and working together.
I can make it through anything in this life with my best friend by my side, but how do we find a balance of acceptance, love and both getting what we need? That's really what makes life hard. Maybe we are all missing that if we can accept ourselves first and the people around us second we will all be okay - and maybe life won't seem so hard or complicated.

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