Love is what makes a family...

There's a lot on our hearts today. Our son will be leaving us tomorrow. We are heartbroken, but know that this is the best thing for him. This quote from the amazing Pat Summitt couldn't have come at a better time. We celebrate Pat and her life. We marvel at the significant difference she made in the lives of so many. She was so wise with these words. I am sure there were countless times she had to explain to the young people in her life that when the night looks darkest, it's because the dawn is coming and not because we have been forgotten. Hard times happen to help us grow and prepare us for what is coming. I pray that our boy knows that he isn't moving because life is cruel. He is moving because God has bigger plans for him. He needs to learn things he cannot learn with us. He needs to fly. We will pray for him daily and continue to have limited contact. My prayer remains the same - that he will not give in to becoming a statistic but rather choose a path...

I don't know about you, but when I'm feeling overwhelmed or sad and don't like that I'm not in control of everything I don't want to acknowledge that I'm not alone. If I feel alone, I feel justified in my feelings. If I've been abandoned by everyone, it's okay that I be angry, hurt or sad. I have always been deeply moved by the part in Harry Potter when Harry feels so frustrated that people don't believe him. He feels alone. Then, he has this exchange with (my favorite character) Luna: Luna: We believe you, by the way.... Harry: Thanks. Seems you’re about the only ones that do. Luna: I don’t think that’s true. But I suppose that’s how he wants you to feel. Harry: What do you mean? Luna: Well if I were You-Know-Who, I’d want you to feel cut off from everyone else. Because if it’s just you alone you’re not as much of a threat. I have the tendency to be like Harry. When I feel like no one understands what I am dealing with, I shut out the world ...

So June is always a big deal in the Asher House, but this year it was made even bigger with our boy's birthday joining the celebrations!! June 2 we celebrated our boy's 14th birthday... it was so fun to wake him up to waffles and gifts before dropping him off for his second-to-last day of school. A few days later we went to play paintball and had his older sister and younger 2 siblings join us from their homes along with his cousin and aunt. What an awesome day of celebration!! It was so sweet to see all the kids playing together - and to pop them with paint-balls on the battlefield! A couple of weeks later, I got to celebrate my birthday and Ryan got his first Father's Day. While we didn't want to make a big deal out of it being that it's another sensitive day, I can't let the month pass without saying again how AMAZING Ryan is at being a dad. He's SO understanding, patient and kind. He constantly chooses to be loving instead of mad, he gives up his quie...

Let me preface this blog entry with the fact that the only reason why Ryan and I have (what we believe to be...) a strong marriage is because of the amazing support and advice we have received from many. Advice from those who know far more than us has contributed to our professional and personal lives a great deal and we are very open to help from all!!  We have had a huge amount of helpful parenting advice since we opened our home... however, we have also had comments about how to deal with negative behaviors. Y es, we have been struggling and always try to be open about both the joys and the frustrations / hurts of what we are battling. However, we need to be clear that any child who comes into our home has experienced a great deal of trauma. A child who experiences trauma is not like a child who has not. You cannot always treat them the same, react to them the same, express love / anger the same, praise them the same or enforce consequences the same ways as children who have g...