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When you want to ball up and cry...

I don't know about you, but when I'm feeling overwhelmed or sad and don't like that I'm not in control of everything I don't want to acknowledge that I'm not alone. If I feel alone, I feel justified in my feelings. If I've been abandoned by everyone, it's okay that I be angry, hurt or sad.
I have always been deeply moved by the part in Harry Potter when Harry feels so frustrated that people don't believe him. He feels alone. Then, he has this exchange with (my favorite character) Luna:
Luna: We believe you, by the way....
Harry: Thanks. Seems you’re about the only ones that do.
Luna: I don’t think that’s true. But I suppose that’s how he wants you to feel.
Harry: What do you mean?
Luna: Well if I were You-Know-Who, I’d want you to feel cut off from everyone else. Because if it’s just you alone you’re not as much of a threat.
I have the tendency to be like Harry. When I feel like no one understands what I am dealing with, I shut out the world and become isolated.This makes me feel alone and overwhelmed. It's a matter of time until that becomes frustration becomes resentment. This is what the Devil wants. Just as You-Know-Who wanted Harry to feel alone, the Devil wants us to feel alone in our battles - especially when we are taking steps of faith into God's plan for us.

During this foster care process, I have felt beaten down and frustrated. A lot. I have felt isolated and alone. I have questioned my ability to be a parent, and honestly my value as a person. However, there has not been one day that my doubts and fears haven't been met with calls, messages and drop-in's from friends that God prompted to speak a word of encouragement. It has been a humbling experience that so many people have taken time out from their busy schedules just to check-in.

So, thank you! To all of you! You are playing such an important part in God's plan and have made an enormous impact in Ryan's and my life - and an enormous impact in the lives of the children who will come through our home.

Comments

Unknown said…
His name is Voldemort, you might as well use it, he's going to try and kill you either way...

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