Skip to main content

Meanwhile...

It's been a couple of months since I've written anything and I can't really articulate why.
In November my Great Aunt passed away, she and I were super close - for many reasons - but one being that we shared the common pain of longing for children we haven't had. It was always comforting to be with her and know that she completely understood the most difficult parts of my soul. Despite her heartbreak, she and her husband were always happy and laughing. They had a love that was all any couple could hope for. Losing her was losing the reminder that no matter what, Ryan and I will have a full and joyful life. I pray daily that memories of her will stick with me forever.
In December, we reopened our home to taking another placement. We had a couple of calls, but no placements that panned out. Over the holidays I made a commitment to going all in and throwing myself into everything that came my way. It was an amazing time. Ryan and I enjoyed having time together and the freedom to take off and do whatever we wanted. Still, when Christmas day came, we were sad that we had another Christmas alone.
As we ran full force into the new year, we got a call about a 17 year old girl. She had been shuffled around most of her life from family members and friends, facilities and group homes. She would age out of the system before her senior year of high school meaning she would have to figure out how to live alone and get her diploma. She has good grades and wants to be a pediatric nurse. She is artistic and helpful, but comes with a record which is enough for few people to be willing to give her a chance.
We returned the call with a yes, we would love to meet her.
She spent the weekend with her and completely fell in love. She is sweet, caring and motivated. We have so much in common it's crazy. We got our nails done, went to see Hidden Figures, ate sushi and walked the greenways. We talked about goals and school and what living with us would be like. We sat down to brunch and she said all she wants is to have dinner with people who care how her day was. Our hearts broke and we told her if she wanted to move in, we would love it.
Wednesday, Ryan got a call that she would be arriving on Friday night.
Of course, I went and got her a Vera Bradley backpack and monogrammed supplies (thanks Denice!) organized her room a to feel a little more comfortable and panicked a lot.
She got here Friday night... and before she arrived I panicked pretty hard. I want to give this girl what she deserves - a chance, support, help and love. I pray that Ryan and I can do it.
So far things have been great. Oak Ridge High School has been amazing in helping us get her registered and things worked out. We have enjoyed some great family time and will continue to take it a day at a time. For now we are excited to be a family of 3 again.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Our hearts

So, I've had several draft posts that I've started and haven't finished.... so I am going to try and cover everything in one and get it all out there! I woke up this morning with our boy on my mind. He called me last night (as he does most weeks) and I had to go back through my phone and find photos of him when I woke up this morning. My heart still breaks for this kid who has lived through more trauma than Ryan and I will ever know. This boy who so desperately wants to be loved but doesn't know how to accept it. This boy who still calls me mom. This boy who continues to make progress then throw it all away. We love him. We know that he had to leave and that our time with him served it's purpose and he needed to move on... however, as challenging as those months were, we still miss him. All the time. We are processing where we are and the heartbreak of having another kid who holds our hearts but isn't with us. It's not easy. I am heartbroken and ...

Finding peace in the storm...

So, this weekend I had one of my favorite and real interactions ever. It was with someone I have long loved but, honestly, don't know well. She asked a caring and innocent question about how things are going... and I broke down. While I tried to recover from the embarrassment and awkwardness she laughed and said "I feel SO MUCH BETTER. I really thought you were perfect." I have never laughed so hard. First, for anyone to think my life is perfect or to think that I have anywhere near any level of perfection is hysterical to me. Second, what a beautiful and honest reaction. None of us want to feel like we are the only one living flawed and it's hard to connect with someone whose cracks we can't see. The last year has been a whirlwind. To be honest, the last 2 years have been rocky and crazy. Moving house, transitioning to a new job, Ryan transitioning to a new job, foster parent training, our first 2 placements.... all of that brought out some of my worst parts. W...