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Battling perfection

Because we have wanted children for so long, it feels like we have to be perfect. I can't be frustrated about things and Ryan can't wish for alone time. We can't be tired or spent. This can put enormous pressure on all of us as a family. Life with our girl feels comfortable and easy - but there is still an adjustment. The ease we have had with her makes me feel guilty all over about our boy. How challenging the time was with him. 
Pressure is heightened as we think about the small amount of time we have to influence her future decision making. Everything we do has to be the right example and set the right course.
After more than 8.5 years of marriage, Ryan and I are used to a good amount of alone time. Time to do whatever we want. Time to go to movies and dinner and talk about life. Time to make decisions and get on the same page. 
We banded together with our boy finding time to catch up and talk but after he left we slipped back into the easy life we have always had. 
Trying now to read each other's minds to be consistent is not easy. To make up how we are supposed to parent a girl who's basically a woman with very little time to confer is complicated. It's stressful and exhausting at times. 
But, at the end of the day, seeing my amazing husband being a dad to an amazing girl who needs one is the greatest blessing my heart will ever receive. Seeing him open doors for her to show her the expectations to have of men who come into her life is beautiful. Watching him be the best #GirlDad makes my heart burst. 
While we might struggle - and struggle with the fact that we struggle - we are in it for the long haul. This is our calling and I wouldn't take a single step of it back. 
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