Love is what makes a family...

God has been putting his hand on us and giving us what we need the last few weeks in amazing ways... one of those was getting to lead this song at church on Sunday... I absolutely almost lost it while singing the bridge as I was overcome with the words... " All of my life. In every season. YOU are still God . I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship..."  While we do feel dry and weak and like we are walking though pain we know that God is working to further refine us. I was renewed as the song ended - I have never meant words more than these: "This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence flow. I know I'm filled to be emptied again... the seeds I received I will sow."  We can be sad that we have been filled to be emptied again... or we can rejoice that the seeds we have received, we have sowed... and look forward to being filled again... to be emptied again. We are so thankful for every uplifting message, prayer, thought - and ...

So, our mantra has been that you can't fix 17 years in 7 months... and while we cling onto that, it doesn't stop our hearts from breaking. While everything in me tells me that I have found my daughter, the world has said it happened too late. I can't sleep for thinking about how things could have been different if she had been mine at birth, or 3 years old... 6 years old... 12 years old even... but by the time we found her, life had given her enough trauma that she couldn't accept our love and dreams for her. In 2 weeks, my daughter will turn 18 and has made the choice to leave. There's not much I can say about that other than how devastated we are. We have wrestled with this. Cried over it. Been angry and hurt. However, there's no longer anything we can do. We see so much for her. We see her talent and abilities. We see her drive and resilience. We can see her future as a nurse and someday a wife and mother. How do you cast that vision into someone who...