For years I thought that I really desperately wanted a baby... like, a tiny, fresh out, baby. A tiny human, totally reliant on us for everything. A baby that we could dote on and raise all the way... from a clear mind to a full-grown human... I thought that is what would make me really feel like a mom... and they would look at me as being their mom. As we started this journey, we knew we also wanted to take in kids that needed us. Kids that needed our unique life experiences and to receive the patience and love we can provide. After our second heartbreak, I really didn't believe I could do it again. I needed that baby... the tiny human that I could hug and love and protect. The baby who couldn't fight against my love... a baby who is comfortable needing me... who would let me control their life (to some extent anyway!) Then... Ryan took a step in faith and convinced me to try one more teenager. It's important to mention here that 12 years ago, this same man said he wo...