To be honest... I have struggled with writing this post. I didn't want to. I still don't want to. Because I have to be honest. And I don't want to be. I don't want to share how I have been feeling. But here goes. When Ryan and I started this journey, I was convinced that I would be the one who could stay positive all the time. I am the one people call the energizer bunny. I'm the one that has all the experience and I sure as heck "know what we are getting in to." I was sure that when a child left, I could take it and move forward and be completely open and ready for the next one in need of our love. I never thought I would be the one to struggle to keep my heart open after being broken. I didn't think my confidence would be shaken and that I would question this path. I never thought that if one of us would feel defeated that it would be me. But, then it was. When we first heard about our new placement, my first thought was "I can...